Gather round for a story about Jupiter, the Woodcutter, and the power of wishes…
Strange things happen in the forest. Fairies dance to music only they can hear, and the neighboring witches weave spells with stones and stories. Flower sprites sing happy tunes for nymphs, and shapeshifters of all sizes come and go with ease. Not surprisingly, these elusive woodland spirits aren’t fond of people invading their home, so when a human smites the heavens while in their beloved forest, the gods will respond.
Just ask Charles, the local woodcutter.
Although he was the only carpenter around, Charles was poor. He worked from sunup to sundown, but there never seemed to be enough money to get ahead. Over the years, he watched his neighbors build larger homes and acquire more land, but Charles and his wife struggled. Although they had enough to eat, they longed for life’s most extravagant luxuries.
During a particularly hot day when his blade wouldn’t sharpen, and the trees refused to fall, Charles threw down his ax, faced the sky and cried, “Gods! Why do you smite me so? While my friends acquire more gold than they can spend, I cannot buy new shoes or wheels for my cart! Why are you deaf to my prayers?”
Moments later, the earth rumbled and jerked beneath his feet. Charles was afraid the ground would split in two, but when Jupiter appeared before him, dressed in clouds and thunderbolts, the earth stilled.
Charles apologized to Jupiter for his poor choice of words and begged that he be spared from punishment.
But Jupiter said he’d come to help, not to hinder. He told the man that he’d heard his prayer and had arrived to grant him three wishes – the next three things for which he asked. The woodcutter was excited and hurried home to his wife. By the time he finished the evening chores, ate supper, and told his wife what transpired with Jupiter, the moon was already high in the sky. Since it was late, the couple decided to wait until morning to make their first wish. But as they sat outside admiring the stars, the man’s stomach began to growl.
“I sure would like to have a bowl of pudding,” Charles mentioned to his wife.
As soon as the words left his mouth, a bowl of pudding appeared in his hand. Charles’ wife was a practical woman, so she was furious at him for wasting one of their wishes on a desert. An argument ensued that only ended when Charles made a second wish:
“I sure wish this pudding would make you stop talking,” he said.
As the words skated off his tongue, the woman fell mute. The bowl of pudding vanished from his hand and reappeared hanging from her nose – making it impossible to speak.
If the woman was angry before, now she was furious. Exasperated, she waved her arms around and yelled (unintelligibly) at her husband. Once Charles stopped laughing, he started to feel bad about the situation. His wife was a kind woman, and now, she was crying. She dreamed of becoming a lady about town, but no way could that happen with a bowl of pudding attached to her face.
Charles thought about all the things he still wanted – a bigger home, more land, pockets full of silver, but he wouldn’t be able to enjoy any of these things without his partner. And if his wife couldn’t speak, well, there was no joy in that.
Charles asked his wife what she would like for their final wish: would she prefer to be a queen with all the wealth and power at her fingertips (albeit with a bowl of pudding hanging from her nose), or would she like to reverse the effects of the second wish and remain a peasant?
The woman waved her arms in front of her husband’s face but could not speak her wish into existence. Charles had no choice but to decide for her.
The man was sad to see their dreams of royalty fade before his eyes, but he knew better than to bemoan the gods’ will.
Sometimes the woodcutter thinks back on his encounter with Jupiter and laughs at his ridiculous wishes. Because he chose his wife’s dignity over his desires, the man still chops wood in the forest daily. But, after his last fiasco, he’s more cautious. Each morning when he leaves for work, the woodcutter’s wife reminds him to think twice about sharing their woes with the heavens and disrupting the forest’s slumber.
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This retelling was adapted from the fairy tale “The Ridiculous Wishes,” as told by Charles Perrault.
